Everything that has ever happened to us, stays in us. And if we never go back and heal the scars, or if we do. It will affect the choices we make, I promise.
Abuse, dysfunction, breeds, as does positivity and love. Your personal chemical make up affects your everyday decisions.
Blaming does nothing for anyone.
But accepting that our past ((does)) affect us today, is the only way to begin attempting to right what’s wrong inside of us.
Why are girls who were molested more likely to be sexually active at a younger age? Why are the statistics of men that abuse saying that a higher percentage of these men were abused themselves?
Yes we are responsible for our actions, and… unless we’re billionaires, we’re held to consequence.
But to say that our current choices don’t stem from a deeper place, subconscious memories, triggers, trauma, or the opposite, is like walking through a busy airport using an empty paper towel role as your view finder.
We are not a fresh piece of paper when we wake up in the morning. We are books written, in my case over the course of 32 years. We’ve been written all over, by ourselves, and everyone we have ever known. And whatever the words read, affect everything we do.
It’s not blaming to say, “When I was trying to learn the basics of math, my old step dad would sit down with me and my homework, berate and verbally abuse me when I asked questions, or couldn’t understand a concept.” Today, 20+ years later, numbers are a trigger for me, and cause me to freeze up. Hmm, no wonder I always CHOSE to use a calculator before counting back change as a waitress.
That is a simplistic example. But it’s good enough for what’s written on this rigid, inflexible, simplistic piece of paper featured above. It’s currently being passed around so righteously on the internet. Disguised as positive thinking. “It’s easy! Just choose to pull up you’re bootstraps!”
Uh, how about you take off your Wellingtons and walk around for a while, some people were born and raised barefoot.
Where’s the empathy, compassion, understanding? We go so much deeper. People have reasons behind their everyday choices. And a lot of times they are so buried within us that we have no idea what they are.
Also, would you say this to an un-medicated schizophrenic? Or an autistic child having a meltdown in the grocery store because of sensory overstimulation?
People are human, not robots. We’re diverse physically, mentally, and genetically. And life haunts us, and it surely does affect the choices we make.